Online Dating, that shit be Cray Cray!!!!

So here I am a mum to two kids, Miss Princess 6 and Mr Attitude 3, I am 33 years old and have been single for 12 months now. I have my precious, but occasional grow horns, children full time as my ex lives 900 kms away. I'm lucky to get a weekend off a month and not a whole weekend, we're talking 4 pm Friday to mid morning Sunday. A few times a year I am super dooper lucky enough to get a week or even two weeks straight to myself when their dad comes to visit, usually organised at the last minute because he's boss is a dick and won't allow him plan holidays in advance.

I have been back on the online dating scene for about 5 months now. I say back on because it was actually how I met my ex and well even though it ended in soon to be divorce we still had a good stint at being happy so can't be all bad, right?

One thing that always seems to be asked when chatting with someone online is "What are you looking for?" I still haven't perfected what to say to this question so that my intentions are clear so I say....
"I am looking for someone to hang out with, date and have fun with when I don't have my kids" most just read that as "I just want have occasional casual sex". Um hell no, my kid-free time is so rare that as much as I do love getting naked I don't want to just spend all my time that way. No I want to go out to lunch or dinner, have adult conversation, try new things and I don't mean "experimental new things". My time is so precious that I like to be organised, I can't just leave it a day before then make plans. I am not going to organise a babysitter just so I can come over and have sex, I want respect, I want someone to want me clothed just as much as they want me naked.

Anyway now the funny stuff..... a run down on my online dating adventures so far. Let's start at the beginning......

Guy #01
"Mr I live with my parents"
Single Dad
Enough said, never met him......moving right along

Guy #02
"Mr I believe sex on the first date can lead to everlasting love"
Single Dad
This one got my attention when tried to tell me he didn't think I was cheeky enough for him. Well didn't I blow him out of the water on that. He was super cute as he would send me video messages about how his day was going, even at 4 am when he was heading off to work. We probably would have worked out well together had we met a little further down the track. We still chat from time to time, mainly about he's most current "playdates".

Guy #03
"Mr Do I really Exist"
Single Dad but not really
He and I got along so well in our messages from the very start. Things got weird when he would never want to organise to actually. I mean we had two awesome, funny three hour long phone conversations and still this guy wouldn't meet me. I would have thought I'd been "Catfished" but he did send me a video of himself saying my name and all so I knew he wasn't some overweight slob of a thing sitting in his dirty stained underwear on his couch. So messages back and forth went on for over a month until I finally said "look dude I'm here to date and met people not just chat to some stranger via text messages" and we parted ways.

Guy #04
"Mr I have a girlfriend"
No Kids
Again enough said, moving right along. No I will tell you a little more.....
This on was my actually first date, a nice casual lunch on a Friday. It would have probably gone on longer if it was for bloody school pickup, seriously why can't that shit go until 5 pm. So yeah lunch went well and for the next couple of weeks we text and called each other while he worked away. A day before our second date he decides to drop the bombshell that he in fact has a long term girlfriend overseas. Whoa ok WHAT A DICK!!!!!!

Guy #05
"Mr Boring"
Single Dad
Second first date, casual dinner followed by a walk. We got along well enough, general chit chat about our kids etc etc etc Would have been a nice night if at the end he didn't try to suck my tongue right out of my mouth (imagine the sound effect of the dentist using that sucky hose thing) while trying to dry hump me. Yep that happened.

Guy #06
"Mr Very Good Looking"
Single Dad
Third first date, casual drinks in the afternoon. Conversation went well enough that there weren't too many awkward silences but didn't flow fantastically. Date ended in an awkward friend kind of hug and a week later we decided there was no spark and we'd stay mates. I deleted his number.

Guy #07
"Mr Insecurity"
Single Dad
Chatted to this guy for a couple of weeks while he worked away, very full on from the beginning. After we'd met for the first time he was sending me messages such as "I'm ready to commit, are you?" and "Do you want more kids? I do?", he has 6 kids already FAR OUT. He's sporting some major insecurities which led to us having a quite a few major text fights. Hey come on we'd been chatting all of two days when we has our first text fight..... WTF?????? We saw each other a few more times but I just couldn't deal with his ego or paranoia.

Guy #08
"Mr Pinky"
No Kids
Fantastic first date! We chatted and laughed so much the waitress had to keep coming back to ask for our order. The date ended with a very very nice kiss, well a very long kiss. We had a second date only two nights later and again it went fantastically. Then the maleness (is that a word?) kicked in and he backed off. Before the second date we were texting a lot, he'd even given me the nickname "Pinky", nothing rude so get your mind out of the gutter, but then suddenly after movie and wine at his place he became busy, busy, busy. We're still chatting but he "doesn't want to get attached to anyone" which in Male Speak means "I don't want a relationship but let's keep having sex". This sucks because I actually really like this one even though our lives are very different. He has no kids, is exceptional active and social and me well I have two kids and if I am not at home I am at school or dancing or the park. We have a lot in common and enjoy a lot of the same things but yeah I don't think it would worked anyway. We might remain friends though, time will tell.

Guy #09
"Mr TBA"
Single Dad
First date tonight so I'll fill you all in tomorrow. Wish me luck, I feel as though the pond is very small at this stage in the game.